There once was a time when a "designer dog" referred to the Maltipoo peeking out of an It girl's status bag. Now designer's pets are "It" in their own right with the namesake status bags to prove it. Human It-sensation Lana del Rey may boast a massive Twitter following, her own Mulberry bag, and a contract with Next Model Management but there a few fashionable pets who--if they could speak--would easily say the same. They've got rabid fans, play muse to the likes of Chanel and Balenciaga, and share agency rosters with Kate Moss and Gisele.
The It pet phenomenon has come a long way from the Tamagotchi we forgot to feed in the '90s and Mr. Winkle's Sex In The City
walk-on. Choupette Lagerfeld, Karl's prissy Balinese kitty with over 20,000 followers, just landed a starring role in an upcoming Net-a-Porter
commercial. Last month the ultimate cat lady, Vogue
creative director Grace Coddington, drew doodles of her Calico pumpkin all over limited-edition totes for Balenciaga's FNO.
Now meet our new favorite It pup: Nightmare. Consider this pug the Rihanna to Choupette's Beyonce. Way naughtier but just as fun to watch. The subversive L.A. label, UNIF (Rihanna is actually a big fan and so are we), adopted the bad--but adorable--dog last year. She may be tiny, but Nightmare is totally off the leash and taking Instagram by storm. Her Instagram bio proclaims "the only sh*t I take, I take outside," and her photos suggest she prefers beer bottles to bones as a chew toy, which easily earns her our "Baddest Bitch" title.
We nabbed Nightmare's first interview ever and can confirm: she's way tougher than she looks. Read on for her warning to Choupette and catch UNIF on page 160 of our It Issue!
Hi Nightmare! How did you end up working at Unif? What's your job title exactly? Official mascot, muse, or something more?
Working? Oh no babycakes. I'm what you call a Layer. I lay around. Officially laying on everything. New samples? Lay on 'em. Your purse? Lay in it. Oh is that your dog's bed? Layin' in it.
What's your typical work day like? Favorite lunch?
Wake up, chew up the smokes you left on the chair. Pee. Eat. Lay around. Lay around. Lay around. Lay around. Lay around. Chew on your everything. Get yelled at. Don't listen. Repeat. I only eat organic food, and whatever else you leave in my reach.
Some humans like to dress up their pets. Your mom designs UNIF, one of the coolest labels out there. Would you let her dress you?
Oh yeah totally. I wake up every morning and go "You know what would be great? If someone held me down like a suspect and put some crappy little dress on me that'd make me all hot and walk funny." Get outta here.
Your name is Nightmare: do you live up it? Most puppy mayhem you've ever caused and how did you get out of it? (sad puppy face, run and hide, a million kisses?)
It was fate. I'm horrible, I don't care. I'm a constant annoyance but I'm cute as all hell so whatever. You'll be all "Hey Nightmare stop it!" and I'll look you dead in the eye and you'll melt like butter in my paws. I got bedroom eyes.
Favorite Unif item to chew on?
New samples and shoes usually get me the most attention. Hands are nice too. Try to pet me.
Any pet peeves?
Interviews. Bad Nightmare!
In our opinion, you're the only animal coming for Choupette's crown: do you have a warning to her or any other It pets in your path?
Yeah: stop trying to be all cute! You poop and pee like the rest of us, you little turds.
Choupette plays with iPads, what's your favorite toy?
Choupette's stupid iPad.
Bad Nightmare! Now a classic NYLON question: what's your spirit animal?
A hairy human. And don't tell these geeks at UNIF but if you're hiring, you know where to find me.
Lastly, since you love samples so much, what are your personal UNIF faves?
1. Backoff shorts
for when I'm in heat
2. This leopad coat
for layin' on
3. Hellraiser loafers
for chewin' on
to look bigger
5. 6 Eyes muscle tee
'cause I feel like it
Follow Nightmare on Instagram @unifnightmare -- seriously, the best ever.