MOVIE REVIEW: NEW MOON

"We wondered if even evil vampires took fashion tips from Blair Waldorf."

We  braved the crowds last night to watch New Moon, and after head-butting several tween girls in Team Jacob shirts for a seat, we actually managed to make it through the whole film.  And if you thought it was going to be a steamy R-Patz session (like we did), you might want to prepare yourself:

Unlike Twilight, Taylor Lautner (who portrays werewolf Jacob Black), holds down the fort for most of New Moon, stepping into the void left by Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) after a depressing (but brief – at least in this movie) breakup with his eternal love, Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart).  And while Taylor gets a much more expanded role - including 30 pounds of muscle - he never quite pulls off the same star quality as Pattinson, whose annoying-but-perfect prolonged stare into the camera has become Vampire shorthand for “I love you but don’t make me eat you.”

Chris Weitz, who helmed The Golden Compass and American Pie, does a pretty good job incorporating both action and humor into this predictable blockbuster. With vampire attacks, werewolf brawls, and an inevitable snack-on-the-human chase scene, I found myself on seat’s edge a couple of times, which was a relief for the not-so-romantic at heart.

The human cast upped the ante this time around, too, with Anna Kendrick (who plays Bella’s self-absorbed BFF Jessica Stanley) really showing off her comedic charm, and Dakota Fanning stealing her scenes from an awesome cast including Michael Sheen, Jamie Campbell Bower, and NYLON model Noot Sear.  As a member of the Volturi, a coven of ancient vampires who uphold bloodsucking laws and regulations around the world, Dakota comes off especially cold and frightening.  Then there’s her wardrobe: Dressed in a cape complete with a crosstie, white stockings, and schoolgirl flats, Ms. Fanning left us wondering if even sadistic vampires get their fashion tips from Blair Waldorf.

If you can endure lots of “I want to be more than friends” dialogue – and screaming tweens in the audience - then you should probably see New Moon. There’s great action, funny moments, and half-clothed guys. Besides, you don’t want to be left out of the jokes when SNL starts to air their parodies of it.
--TYLAN CUNNINGHAM



This story was published on November 20, 2009.